As much as it started with a joke about my appearance; out of all the possible things I could name my diet, the vampire diet seemed like my best bet. Its funny, marketable, fits me perfectly, and makes sense. Although I wanted to use other names like “The Healthiest Diet,” “The Indigenous Diet,” “The Natural Diet,” because they would all be correct to some degree, they didn’t sell the complete package.
According to folklore, AKA google, vampires age 10x slower than humans, so if a vampire was 25, they would technically be 250. That is one idea behind this diet, that it will allow for the most youthful appearance through its high vitamin and mineral intake. The other aspect of living a long period of time ties in too. By removing inflammatory foods and focusing on high vitamin foods, it makes the most sense in the context of what would be optimal for longevity.
Vampires also drink blood, and although I am not emphasizing a necessity on drinking blood in particular, certain raw animal foods, approachable or not, are the main focus of this diet. You might not wake up and drink a glass of blood and take a bite out of a goat liver, but the same nutrient density can be achieved with raw milk and pastured eggs for example. High quality animal foods, raw or cooked, supply the highest, most bio-available amount of vitamins out of any food there is. Not to mention, they cause the least inflammation, especially compared to plant foods.
Sleeping in a coffin during the daytime isn’t exactly what I would say is ideal for health, but sleep is another factor along with sunlight and exercise that might not fit into a typical vampires activities. I think everyone would agree that, in the context of conventional wisdom, staying out of the sun is better for youthful appearance. More recently even public knowledge has been pointing to the importance of Vitamin D3, and if we didn’t have access to modern supplements, the sun would be the only choice. Although you won’t see a vampire laying out by the beach or pumping some iron in the gym, I think modern problems call for modern intervention, and this is the vampire diet, not lifestyle, right?